Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

Cover me. I'm changing lanes.

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.

Do you want to talk to the boss or the one who knows what's going on?

E. coli Happens

Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!

Friends don't let Friends drive Naked.

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

Happiness is a belt-fed weapon

He who laughs last thinks slowest

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!

I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die.

I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles.

i souport publik edekasion

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather.... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car....

If you can read this, you cannot be a New York City Cab Driver!

IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you have got.

It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Jesus died for my sins and all i got was this lousy t-shirt

Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.

Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!

Montana --- At least our cows are sane!

My student beat up your honor student

No Radio - Already Stolen

Nobody's ugly after 2 a.m.!

Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from!

REHAB is for quitters

Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.

The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.

Time is what happens while you're making other plans.

Time is the enemy. --ss

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

When there's a will, I want to be in it!

When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.

Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?

Wink, I'll do the rest!

Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!

Sticker Link #1 Idiot-Ink.com

Sticker Link #2 - TellIt-Right.com --Warning: Republican stuff

Sticker Link #3 - This is a wild collection complete with Right Wing commentary.